I Know You
by Sushi1976
Summary: Spencer lost her parents, and the love of her life the same night. Now she has built a wall around her, and not letting anyone in her life. What happens with her past comes breaking down her walls, will she run and hide?
1. Chapter 1

1.

 **Spencer**

I wrapped the blanket around me tighter, as I looked out over the ocean. The sun was just starting to poke over the horizon. The air felt thin, and cold. I didn't want today to come, I just wanted last night to last longer. I closed my eyes as I felt her arms wrap around me from behind me. I squeezed my eyes closed harder to stop the tears from escaping.

"Spence, it's time" I nodded, turning around to face her. I found her deep brown eyes looking into mine.

"Okay" I nodded, lifting my hand to her cheek, resting my lips on hers.

We walked back into the room, going are separate ways. She went over to the suit cases to finish packing, I walked over to the bed to change. She had laid out some clothes for me, I was reliaved they were just comfy baggy clothes.

" _Hello?"_ she said into the phone, I sat down on the bed watching her.

" _Okay thank you, we will be right down"_

"Ready?" She knew the answer, we both did.

"No" she walked over, pulling up into a hug. I let my face be nuzzled into her neck. I inhalied her scent, I was going to miss her.

"Let's go" she grabbed our bags, and I turned off the light. I looked arund the room before I did. The memorys from last night came back to me. I smiled, closing the door behind me.

We walked out side towards the car. The man took our bags putting them into the trunk, and Ashley held the door open for me. Once inside I leaned against the side staring outside. Ashley reached over placing her hand in mine. I looked over at her pleading her with my eyes.

"Spencer you know I can't. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you. I love you baby, I wish things were different." I nodded, turning back to my window.

We were driving to the airport where Ashley would be boarding without me. Her dream came true, she was going to be a rock star. Ashley had worked hard trying to get picked up by a label, and now she was heading to them to start her career. After her father past away, I thought she was never going to pick a guitar up again, but she did. I was happy for her, I was.

"I guess this is where we say see you later" I nodded and just kept staring out my window.

"Spencer please look at me" I looked over at her with tear in my eyes, hers were dry.

"I love you baby, I'm going to miss you" She leaned in giving me a kiss, and a hug.

"I love you too Ash, be safe" She nodded, getting out of the car.

"Where to Ms Carlin?" I looked up at the driver.

"Home please" He nodded.

As for me I would go home and cry my self to sleep. Then wonder If Ashley is thinking about me. Pathetic I know, but she was the love of my life. I live with my parents, while I attend school full time. Ashley offered to pay for a place for me, but with her going to be gone all the time I wanted to be close to family. This way I could work part time, and save some money. I didn't want Ashley money, and refuse to let her get me anything. She tried to get me a car once, I didn't talk to her for a while. I wanted to buy stuff on my own, and didn't want to rely on her.

Once we got to my place, the driver help me bring in my bags. My father was in the kitchen with my mother. They handed me a cup of coffee, and my mother wrapped me in her arms. They knew how much this relationship ment to me, but also knew how much it is going to kill me to be away from her. Ashley promised me that once I am done school she would come home, She would open a recording company, and we would settle down together. My parents always told me to just focus on school, and worry about the future later. Down the road I would thank them, but right now I just want to be with Ashley.


	2. Chapter 2

2.

 **Spencer**

5 years later...

I was in my office signing paychecks, ordering stuff, and other owner related stuff. I looked at the time, its wasn't even noon, this day was dragging on. I decided it was time to take a break. I walked out of my office into the bar, I was proud of my business. I took a minute to look around, and enjoy the silence. I open this bar a 2 years ago, and so far its been a hit. I walked over behind the bar, grabbing my self a beer.

"Isn't it a little early to start drinking?" I almost spit out my beer, I noticed her standing there by the door.

"It's 4 o'clock somewhere right?" we both laughed, and I walking over giving her a hug.

"Hey Spence, how you been?" I shrugged, taking a seat on one of the bar stools.

"I'm alright Ky, what about you?"

"Tired, but that's what happens when you have a child" I nodded.

"How is Dylan?"

"Energized, but good"

"and Alden, how is he liking fatherhood?"

"He loves it, he is so good with Dylan. I am lucky to have him" I smiled.

"What brings you to my little bar?" I wasn't going to cut around the bush, I knew she wanted something. Kyla never comes to me, I usually go to her.

"I missed my best friend, and I wanted to see how you are doing?"

"Bullshit, but thanks" she laughed.

"I do miss you Spencer, I wish you would come around more. Aiden misses you too, and your godson would like to see his aunt Spencer" I finished my beer, walking behind the bar to put it back in the empty box.

"I know, I'm sorry Kyla. The Bar has picked up a lot lately, and I am down a bartender. Kelly decided to move back home"

"Oh well what will you do with out your sex partner" I rolled my eyes. Yes Kelly and I were friends with benefits.

"I guess I will go without sex"

"Bullshit, you already have a back up don't you?"

"Kyla I'm shocked you think so low of me" we both smiled, it was true I had a lot of ladies who I could call and they would be at my feet.

"Anyways, I'm here because I want you to come for dinner tomorrow?"

"Why?"

"Did you not just hear about how much we miss you?" I gave her the 'you are bull shiting look'.

"Its true we do, and tomorrow seemed like the perfect time" She looked away, I knew it.

"Why Kyla?"

"Because Ashley is coming home the day after to live with us for a bit. She wants to come home to work on her new album, and I know you won't come over if she is there"

"thats not true"

"Spencer we didn't see you for months because when she is home you disappear from the face of earth. This way we get to see you before you run away" I crossed my arms.

"Okay, I will see you tomorrow" She squealed, then gave me a hug.

"I love you too Kyla"

"And you admitted you do run away" she gave me a pointed look.

"I did not, now go because I have boring business stuff to take care of"

"Bye Spence"

"Bye Kyla" I watched as she left the bar, then headed into my office.

Ashley and I never lasted. When she finally released her first album our relationship was already broken. I didn't even get to see her after she got on that plane. With school, and working I was too tired to stay up on the phone with her. She eventually stop calling at night, and resorted to texting me. When the release of her album came out, she wanted me to come to the party. Of course I said yes, but then I got a call. It was from my brother Glen, our parents had been in a car accident. They didn't make it. I tried calling Ashley to tell her what was going on, but she never picked up. When I got home from the hospital there was a voicemail from her.

" _ **How could you miss this Spencer! This is the most important night of my life, and you fucking blew me off! I wanted you here, I wanted you to be part of this! I can't do this anymore! I'm done, we are done! Have a great life Spencer!"**_

That was the night I lost my parents, and the love of my life.

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A/N: What do you all think?


	3. Chapter 3

3.

 _ **Kyla**_

"How is she?" Aiden asked me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Same as always, Kelly is gone tho" he raised an eyebrow, I went over to grab a water from the fridge.

"I guess she will find someone to replace her" I nodded.

"She said she will be here tomorrow night, I guess we should start planning on what to have. It might be the last dinner with her for a while" Aiden walked over rubbing my back.

"I'll take care of it. Maybe something will change, and she will come around more"

"Aiden we tried everything. We even had a child and she still doesn't visit a lot. I just miss my best friend. I don't have a lot of friends, and the ones I do just gossip." I leaned into him.

"I know baby, lets just focus on the time we do have with her okay?" I nodded.

"I'll be right back" I kissed him, then left him to his cooking books.

Aiden was an amazing cook, I always told him to be a chef. He said he would, but after a while it would make him start to hate it. Spencer father was the one that taught him to cook. When he was going through a rough patch in high school, Mr. Carlin would use cooking lessons to get Aiden to talk. We were blessed so much by that family. It hurt when I found out they were gone.

 ** _Knock knock_**

"Come in" I opened the door, walking in to the room.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"I need a favour Ash" I took a seat next to her, resting my hand on her bed.

"Okay, what is it?" She said setting down her guitar on the bed.

"I need you to not be here tomorrow night" She nodded, She knew.

"How is she?"

"Cold, and I told her you were coming here to stay. She agreed to come for dinner, and that is asking a lot from her. I'm sorry Ashley for kicking you out for the night, but I really miss my best friend"

"I understand Ky, I will make my self busy for the night." I gave her a hug, and got up from the bed.

"Kyla do you think she will ever talk to me again?" I thought for second before I answered her.

"Have you ever tried talking to her?"

"No, I always left things in her court. The way you all talk about her, it sounds like she isn't the same girl I loved"

"She isn't Ash, Spencer is a frozen piece of ice. We have tried making cracks in her, but she isn't breaking."

"Did I do this, did she say I am the reason for her being like this?"

"We asked once, and she said no. I thought it was your fault Ashley and I am sorry. It turns out the reason for her like this is unknown. Glen tried to talk to her, but she just runs. If you get to close to her she runs away, and you wont hear from her for months. Sometimes Glen even calls us to see if she is still alive."

"Wow, I didn't realize how bad it has become" I nodded.

"Ya. Anyways how is the writing coming along" My sister rolled her eyes.

"Its pathetic, I can't seem to even think of something to write about"

"Your lyrics always came from your heart Ash, maybe you just need to listen to it"

"I think my heart is dead, because nothing is coming out"

"It will, give it time"

"Thanks, good night Ky"

"Good night Ash" I walked out of her room.

I never hated Ashley for the voicemail she left, she honestly didn't know what had happen that night. I did hate her for not coming home to us. She sent flowers, and even paid for the funeral. That's all tho. Spencer needed her, and she wasn't there for her. I knew Ashley was part of the reason why Spencer become so cold, but it wasn't the only reason.

I walked into my sons nursery to make sure it was good. I kissed his head, and ran my hand over his tiny head. I looked up at all the photos, and only one caught my eye. The day he was born. Spencer was holding him. She showed up right when he was a couple seconds old, and left not even an hour later. We name our son Arthur Paul Dennson, after Spencer parents. Arthur saved Aidens life, and Paula was like a mother to me. I turned off the lights, and closed the door.

"Ready for bed?" Aiden asked me coming out of the bathroom.

"Yes"

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	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: My fiance will be taking my laptop this weekend, therefore I will not be able to update until late sunday or monday. I might be able to give you another chapter tonight, if not I will talk to you all Monday . Remember to follow the story, that way you will know when I updated. Sometimes I update once a day or twice a day. I wouldn't want you to miss a chapter. Enjoy Living. Keep it simple. Make it fun. - Sushi1976_

4.

 _ **Spencer**_

I was sitting at the table with Kyla, we had just finished eating. Aiden was getting us our dessert, apparently he made some amazing pies. I looked over at Dylan, my godson. They name him after my parents, but I asked if I could give him the nickname Dylan. When I was born they thought I was going to be a boy, and that the name they gave me. One day I hope Dylan know how important the people he is named after were.

"Spencer?"

"Ya?" I looked up at Aiden, who was cutting what looked like cherry pie.

"I asked if you wanted a slice?"

"Yes please" I took a sip of my beer, and started to eat my piece.

"Where is your head Spencer?" I shrugged.

"Someone Ky, when you find it let me know" We laughed.

"Anything new going on with you?" We didn't really talk during dinner, I had shown up late. Plus I was starving, and Aiden food was always my favourite.

"Not really since we last talk, I did get an interesting offer a couple of weeks ago. I was offered to start another bar in New York."

"Wow, that's awesome. Are you going to take it?" I looked at them, I know they were just being nice. They didn't want me moving to New York.

"I don't know. I was offered to fly up and look at the empty space, and spend some time there"

"Well either way I'm happy to hear the bar is hitting it off, and you are doing good. You are good right?" Aiden Asked.

"I'm good. How are things with you guys?"

"Hectic, tiring, but good. Aiden is going back to work next week."

"I see"

We continued to chat while eating our pie, I enjoyed these moments. They never asked me hard questions, they always kept it light. After I offered to do the dishes, but Aiden wouldn't let me. I settled on spending time with Dylan. I picked him up, holding him to me. He looked a lot like Aiden, but Defenlty had that Davies smile.

"Would you like to put him to bed?" I nodded, walking up stairs to his room.

When I got up the stairs I noticed the bedroom that Ashley always stayed was open. I walked over, looking inside. I saw her guitar on the bed, and music sheets everywhere. She was already home. Kyla music have asked her to not be here tonight. I closed the door, walking into Dylan's nursery laying him down. I watched as he slowly fell asleep holding my finger.

"I love you Arthur Paul Dennson, I hope one day you will hear me say that" I kissed his forehead, leaving the room after.

I walked back down stairs where I heard talking, then I heard her voice and I stopped. I leaned against the wall, and listened.

"I'm sorry I thought I could come back, I didn't think you guys would be still up"

"She got here late, now you gotta go before she comes back down."

"It's fine, I'm heading out now. Dylan is asleep, and I turned on the baby monitor. Thanks for dinner guys" I didn't even look at Ashley, I didn't want to.

"Spencer wait..." I was outside already, my feet were running towards my car without me even knowing. Once in the car I looked up to find her looking right at me, standing there in the rain.

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	5. Chapter 5

5.

 _ **Ashley**_

I stood there staring at her, I barely could feel the coldness of the rain pouring down on me. I don't know what made me chase after her, but I know I needed to just talk to her. I walked over to her side of the car. She open the door, getting out.

"What Ashley?" I just stared at her, she was beautiful, but she wasn't the girl I remember.

"Say something Ashley!"

"I'm sorry"

"That's it, that's why you chased me out here. Wow you have become pathetic over the years" she turned to get back into her car.

"I'm sorry for everything. I know I messed up, but I didn't mess up enough for you to hate me. I just don't know what happen that made you run away from everyone, and be so cold"

"How about you mind your own business, and oh ya can you please stop sending me fucking flowers! I already lost them, I don't need a reminder every fucking year!"

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to..."

"What, be thoughtful? You were so thoughtful back then weren't you, so much you decide to dump me before I could even explain!" I watched the tears flow from her eyes, and I could feel mine.

"Spencer I'm sorry, I don't know what you want me to do. I would have fix this, but I didn't know if you ever wanted to see me again"

"Your right I don't, so stay the fuck away from me!" She got into her car, and drove away.

I stood there staring where her car disappeared. That was the first time I saw her since the night I left to start my record deal. She wasn't the same girl, she was full of anger. I felt a hand on my back, I turned to find Kyla staring at me.

"I'm sorry Kyla, this is all my fault."

"No its not Ash, she did this to her self. Spencer needs to find her own way, because right not she is lost and we can't help her." I leaned in hugging my little sister.

"I want my Spencer back Kyla"

"We all do Ash"

* * *

 ** _Smash!_**

I couldn't stop my self, I just kept grabbing stuff and throwing it all my walls.

 _ **SMASH!**_

I hated seeing her, and I hated hearing her fucking voice!

 _ **SMASH!**_

How dare she say sorry, how dare she even try to fucking talk to me!

 _ **SMASH!**_

I threw one more vase at my wall, before the door open with my brother standing there.

"What the hell Spencer!"

"Get out Glen!"

"No! Tell me what is wrong!" I walked over grabbing a beer, he snatched it away from me.

"I don't think this is going to help."

"Don't tell me what to do, your not my fucking parent!"

"They would be pist to see you like this if they were alive!" I stopped and looked at him.

"That's right Spencer our parents are dead, its something we need to talk about. You can't go your whole life not mentioning them! You need to talk about it! Grieve them for fucksakes! You aren't mad at Ashley, you are mad that our parents are dead!"

 _ **Smack!**_

Glen reached up and wiped the blood from his lip, and turn to leave. I grabbed a case of beer, walking into my living room. I sat down and started to drink. In the dark. Alone. Where I belong.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 ** _Ashley_**

I knocked on the door, there was no answer. I opened it slowly, I decided to walk in when I saw the glass on the floor. I shut the door behind me, looking around for Spencer. My sister told me where she lived, I wanted to check up on her. I walked over to the couch, where I found her laying there with a bottle of Vodka in her hand. The site made me want to burst in tears, this was not Spencer. I bent down moving some hair from her eyes, when they opened.

"Ash?"

"Hey I came to check up on you"

"I don't hate you, I stopped hating you a long time ago" I nodded, sitting down on the floor so my side was leaning against the couch.

"Why are you doing this Spencer?"

"To forget" With that said she closed her eyes again, and went back to sleep.

I grabbed the bottle from her hands, and placed it on the table. I looked around, she must of smashed a lot of stuff. I went into the kitchen to grab something clean the all the glass up. I noticed her cupboards were empty, and so was her fridge. After cleaning all the glass up, I decided to sit down and wait for Spencer to wake up.

 ** _Ring Ring_**

 _"Hey Kyla"_

 _"Hey how is she?"_

 _"Drunk, and apparently angry enough to through stuff at her walls"_

 _"Well Glen just called, Spencer punched him"_

 _"Is he okay?"_

 _"Ya, he is use to this shit from her. Anyways are you coming back home?"_

 _"I'm going to stay here, and make sure she is okay"_

 _"Okay, well be careful Ash."_

 _"I will, love you"_

 _"Love you too"_

I hung up my phone, putting it next to me on the side table. I made my self comfortable on the chair, and turned on the tv. I looked over at Spencer and wonder what made her like this. If she didn't hate me, then why was she so angry. I know losing her parents was hard, but this was something deeper. I felt my eyes closed, and sleep take over.

* * *

"ugh!" I looked over to Spencer slowly waking up.

"Hurting?" she looked over at me with a questioning look.

"What are you doing here Ashley?"

"I came to check on you, then stayed to make sure you were okay" I got up, grabbing my phone.

"Well Im fine you can go" I went over grabbing a garbagge can, and giving it to her.

"You are so not fine Spencer, you hit your brother last night"

"So, he diserved it" She sat up, drinking some of the water I put next to her.

"Sure he did, what did the wall do to piss you off?" She looked over at where she smash the objects against.

"Nothing it's what other did"

"Well I cleaned it all up for you. You know you should buy some food or something, your cupboards are empty"

"You went through my shit?"

"I was looking for something to put the glass shards in"

"oh" She ran her hand through her hair, and checked her phone.

"I'm going to go, her is my number. Feel free to text or call me anytime" I place the card on the table, and walking towards the door.

"Thank you, for you know cleaning and watching me sleep" She said without looking up from her phone.

"Bye Spencer" I walked out, closing the door behind me. I wasn't done with Spencer yet, I needed to help her. I just needed to know how to.

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	7. Chapter 7

**So sorry for not updating, please forgive me. I have the day off today, so hopefully I will post more today! - Sushi1976**

 **Chapter 7**

 ** _Spencer_**

The bar was filled tonight, and I was low bartenders. Most of my staff were doing the rounds, while I was behind the bar with Casey. Now she was great at what she does, and always gets the most tips. Men and women always try to pick her up, but she always turns them down with their money in her pockets.

"Spencer!" I looked over to see Kyla and Aiden coming towards me.

"What are you two doing here?"

"We are partying!"

"Since when, you have kids now"

"My parents are watching the little guy" I nodded at Aiden, and handed him a beer.

"What about me!" I smiled, handing Kyla a cooler. She hates beer.

"Don't even think about it, your money isn't good here." I said stepping away from Aiden trying to hand me money.

"Can you come hang with us?" I looked down and saw Casey, she was flirting with someone.

"Maybe, I'll try to bring one of my staff down to replace me" they nodded.

"I'll get them to set up a booth for you two" I grabbed my cell to text Michelle.

"Its actually three of us tonight" I looked up from my phone to see Ashley standing beside Kyla.

"Okay" I walked away from them, I haven't seen Ashley since she came to my place a week ago.

I watched as Michelle took them up to their booth, but my eyes were on Ashley. She was looked amazing tonight. She was wearing ripped tight jeans, and a t shirt that had some kind of band on it. I went back to focusing on serving out beer. I had to wait for Michelle to come back down to replace me so I could go hang out with everyone. I didn't have to look around to know Ashley eyes were on me, I could always feel her watching me.

* * *

 _ **Ashley**_

We took a seat in our booth and my eyes were on Spencer in seconds. Something about her tonight made me keep watching her. She had her hair up in a messy bun, and all I wanted to do was attack her neck with my lips. Her stomach showed a little when she went to reach, my hands wanted to run across those abs of hers.

"Ashley stop drooling"

"I can't help it Kyla, she is fucking perfect" My sister rolled her eyes.

"I'm surprised you haven't gotten recognized here Ash?" Aiden asked me, I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not all made up like I am when on tour, so no one even notices that its me. Its one reason why I decided to dress casual tonight" He nodded.

"Okay so lets cheer for a kid free night!" Kyla said, raising her glass.

"For a night out with friends!" Aiden said.

"For a kick ass night!" I spoke, taking a sip of my beer.

"Wow you guys are cool!" We looked over at Spencer who had finally made her self free for us. I smiled, and slid over for her to take a seat.

"You came!" Kyla really missed Spencer.

"Of course I do own this bar" Spencer said as she reached over grabbing one of the beers she brought and started drinking it.

"This is a really nice bar Spencer" She leaned back, turning her head towards me.

"Well it better be! I have thee Ashley Davies here tonight!" We all laughed, and I couldn't help notice how relax she was tonight with me.

"Oh Aiden its our song! Lets go!" Kyla said dragging Aiden out of the booth, but not until he could take one more sip of his beer.

"Why aren't you down their dancing Ashley?" I looked over to her, she was now paying a lot of attention to her beer.

"I don't dance anymore" She laughed.

"Bullshit, you love dancing"

"That's before, your not the only one that has change Carlin" I spoke making sure I looked right at her.

"I haven't change, I don't know why people keep saying that. I'm still me,I just grew up"

"You have change Spencer, you changed the way you let people see you" Spencer took a sip of her drink, and nodded for another.

"Lets talk about something else, or I will regret coming up here and being civil for Kyla"

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Ashley I know Kyla misses me, and so does Aide. I came up here to make them happy to get off my back. I don't want to be here talking to you, but I will in order to keep those two happy. They do a lot for me, and I am not the greatest of giving something back to them. So just shut up and enjoy tonight, because this will never happen again" I nodded.

"Dance with me?" I patted her back as she choked up some of her beer.

"Why would I do that?"

"Like you said tonight will never happen again, and you are doing this for those two" I pointed to my sister and Aiden. They were waving for us to join them.

"Just be with us tonight Spencer, don't think about it. Just have fun" She looked over at our friends having fun.

"Okay" She got up and reached out her hand to me, of course I took it.

"Tonight and only tonight Ashley" I nodded, letting her lead me towards the dance floor with her fingers intertwine with mine.

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	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 _ **Spencer**_

Tonight was not what I thought it would be. I did dance tonight, and it was with Ashley. At first we didn't dance close, but eventually we became closer. My hands found themselves around her neck, and hers around mu body. I do admit it was nice, and comforting to be like that. For a moment I thought my lips were going to be on hers, so that's when I decided to walk away. I said I needed a drink, instead I came outside for a smoke. I looked inside to find them sitting in the booth, but Ashley wasn't with them.

"You started to smoke?" I looked over at Ashley, she must of walked around to find me.

"I know its a bad habit" I rolled my eyes.

"You should, and you will"

"What are you going to make me?" she walked over grabbing the smoke from me, and throwing it away.

"No, but you know if Kyla ever saw you then you would quit just to shut her up" I laughed, its true.

"I guess I will be quitting"

"Good, because no one likes to kiss an ashtray" I looked up at her, she was leaning against the wall.

"Have you tried?" I don't know why I was flirting with her, I think the beer was kicking in.

"No and I wouldn't even if it was with you"

"Harsh much?" she just rolled her eyes, and walked over to stand in front of me.

"Carlin you know kissing you is something I would love to do, but I really hate smoker breath."

"I wouldn't let you anyways, I don't do cute shit anymore."

"What ever you say Carlin" She turned to walk inside, and of course I followed her.

* * *

The next couple of days where quiet, and I enjoyed them. I did however go to New York to see where the new bar would go. I haven't decided what I was going to do, but I did have time. I picked up another glass to clean, when I heard the front door open.

"Sorry we are closed"

"Even for me?" I looked up to see Ashley.

"Yes even for you" I watched her take a seat in front of me, and start eating peanuts.

"Well kick me out then" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Shouldn't you be writing songs or something?"

"I retired" I laughed, and gave her a coke.

"Writing isn't working?"

"No, its like my brain just turned off."I nodded.

"That is what brings you here?"

"I needed out of the house, and I thought I could come bug you for a bit."

"Since when do you think I want you around Ashley?"

"Because you haven't runaway yet. Apparently you do that a lot" I looked at her giving me this knowing look, like she knew me still.

"I don't runaway, its called a life something you don't have apparently" I walked over into my office, turning my computer on.

"See, your doing it right now" She was really starting to piss me off.

"Fuck of Ashley, did you come here for something because I have work to do"

"No, I just needed a break from writing" she said as she turned to leave.

"You are trying too hard" I said stopping her from leaving.

"What do you mean?"

"Your songs always came easy for you, you shouldn't have to try so hard. You probably just have writers block, you need to clear your head."

"Why do you think I came back here Spencer" I looked over at her, I felt bad. Ashley loved music, and this I know was killing her.

"What are you doing this weekend?" I asked.

"Nothing why?"

"I will pick you up tomorrow at 4" She gave me a questioning look.

"Why?"

"I'm taking you somewhere, and don't forget to bring your guitar"

"Spencer you know I don't like surprises"

"I know, that's why I am enjoying this" I said smiling at her.

"Okay, fine. I will be ready at 4"

"Good, now go I have work to do" I said turning back to my computer, quickly looking up to her smiling at me.

"Bye Carlin"

"Bye Davies"


	9. Chapter 9

**I know this is getting old, but I am sorry for not posting. I usually try to post every week. How are you all liking the story? Also I will try to make chapters longer. - Sushi1976**

9.

 _ **Spencer**_

I had picked Ashley up at her sisters, and we were driving to our destination. Of course Kyla had a million and one questions for me, one being why I was doing this. I know Ashley music means everything to her, and I knew a place where she would be inspired to write. I didn't hate her, I just was fine with her being or not being in my life.

"How long till we get to where ever you are taking me?" She asked looking over at me, we had been driving for over an hour.

"Another 5 min" I flicked my smoke out the window, and turned down the music.

"I still think I should have thrown your smokes out when I had the chance"

"Its not like I have just one you know. I do have to put up with you for the whole weekend"

"Weekend?" She looked over at me, I never really gave her info about where I was taking her.

"Yeah"

"Spencer I didn't pack any clothes, you just said to bring my guitar"

"I know"

"What will I wear, because I am not wearing this all weekend" She was wearing jeans, and a loose shirt.

"Don't worry about it" as I turned into the long driveway, and pulled up to the cottage.

"Wow this is beautiful" I smiled at the wooden cottage.

"It sure is"

We got out of the car and headed up to the cottage, Ashley was so busy looking around she almost tripped out one of the rocks. When I opened the front door turning on the lights, I heard her gasp.

"Wow, Spencer this is wow" I looked around the cottage, and I couldn't agree more.

The cottage had a kitchen, living room, 1 bedroom, a bathroom, and a wrap around deck.

"There is no internet here, but we have water and hydro" she nodded as she walked around checking the place out.

"Its small, but it does the trick when you need to get away" She was looking at where the last owner kids marked how tall they were each summer.

"Who use to own this before you?"

"Who says I own this?"

"I'm sorry Spencer I assumed you did" She put her hands into her pockets, she always seemed afraid that I will snap at her for saying the wrong thing.

"Well I do, and the last owners retired. There grand kids use to come up here all the time, but now they are all grown up and married" I walked over leaning against the wall, as she continued to walk around.

"Why did you bring me here?" she asked as I followed her outside onto the deck, looking over the lake below us.

"The wife use to come here and write her novels. I figured if she can write a novel in a month, you can write some songs in a weekend. This cottage is full of memories, inspiration, and stories. They might not be yours, but maybe they will remind you of your own" I said lighting up a smoke.

"Well thank you Spencer, I think this weekend is going to help me out a lot."

"Just don't go around telling people I have a heart and stuff" She laughed.

"I promise I won't"

We sat there for a bit, then Ashley stomach started to make noise. I figured it was time to start dinner. I had come up here earlier to drop off all the food, and bring are clothes. I had some of Ashley old clothes from when we use to date. She was shocked they still fit her, but I also said she could just borrow mine as well. She offered to sleep naked, I ignored that statement. We were sitting in the living room drinking a beer, watching the fire in front of us.

"Spencer can I ask you a question?"

"Sure" I looked over at her, she was looking over at me.

"Is this where you run to?"

"What do you mean?"

"Kyla said you would run away for months on end, and they wouldn't know where you are. It usually happens when you know I am in town" I looked back at the fire, I wasn't ready for this conversation.

"I don't run. I just like my space" I took a drink of my beer.

"Well this is a good spot to go to get space" I nodded.

"I think I am going to go to bed"

"The bag is on the bed upstairs, you will find a toothbrush and stuff on the bathroom"

"Okay, Goodnight" she spoke behind me as she went up the stairs.

I didn't reply I just held up my beer, then took a sip of it. I noticed it was empty, I reached down grabbing another one. Throwing the cap into the fire pit.

* * *

 _ **Ashley**_

I couldn't sleep, being somewhere new always made me stay away. I looked over to find the bed empty next to me, I wonder where Spencer was. I got up putting a house coat on, and walking out to the landing. When I looked down to see Spencer, my heart broke. There she was laying on the couch where I left her, but with beer bottle around her. I walked down slowly, trying not to wake her up. When I got to hear I pulled the one bottle out of her hand, and put it on the table. Where I noticed she was doing paper work.

New York.

Spencer was moving to New York?

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 **R &R Review please**


	10. Chapter 10

BEFORE YOU READ!... The song in this chapter is called 'I know you by Skyler Grey'. Thanks for Reading xo

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10.

 _ **Spencer**_

I woke up to a empty cottage. Ashley had went down to the lake to focus on her music. I looked around and noticed all the empty beer bottles, I didn't think I drank that much. Ashley probably thinks I'm a drunk. I grabbed a bag, and started to put them all in. Picking up my work files putting them away in my briefcase. I went outside to put the recycling out, when Ashley was coming up from the lake.

"Finished the album already?" she laughed, and shook her head no.

"I did however get some songs done, but not as much as I need" I nodded, lighting up a smoke.

"Did you just get up?" she asked.

"Yup. Its called a weekend off, I'm aloud to wake up this late"

"okay then, well I'm going to go inside. Have fun smoking your cancer stick" She spoke while heading inside.

Something tells me she isn't too happy with me. I don't know what I did or say to make her upset. I wasn't really wanting to talk about each others feelings, but I didn't want her upset at me all weekend either. I rolled my eyes, throwing my smoke and went inside.

"Ashley?" I looked everywhere and didn't see her. I walked up stairs to the bedroom, where I found her laying down.

"Hey" I said leaning against the door frame.

"Hi"

"Whats wrong?"

"Just tired" I walked over laying down beside her, propping my self up looking over at her.

"Liar, tell me"

"Nothing, don't worry about it." She got up from the bed, walking to change her shirt for a sweater.

"Okay then" I got up and went back downstairs, I didn't have to deal with this shit.

I opened the fridge pulling out some stuff for a salad. I didn't want to eat anything heavy, and I was craving salad. When I turned around Ashley came into the kitchen to grab a drink, and went out to the deck. I finished making my salad, and went out to sit beside her.

"So are you going to stop being a fucking child and tell me whats wrong?" I said as I took a bite of my salad.

"What happen to you Spencer, why are you such a bitch" I looked over at her, I knew that would get her to talk.

"I was always a bitch, just never to you"

"Well I'm so happy you feel comfortable showing me your true colours"

"Your welcome" She rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink.

"I wrote a song today want to hear it?" I took a bite so I could think about it, was I ready to hear what she wrote. If I knew Ashley, I knew her song was probably going to be about me.

"Sure, why not" She nodded, getting her guitar and coming back out.

"Here it goes" She started to strumming, and her eyes were glued onto mine.

" _ **I believe, I believe there's love in you  
Grid locked on the dusty avenues  
Inside your heart, just afraid to go  
I am more, I am more than innocent  
But just take a chance and let me in  
And I'll show you ways that you don't know**_

 _ **Don't complicate it,  
Don't let the past dictate  
Yeah,  
I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith**_

 _ **So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby  
So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby**_

 _ **I believe, I believe you could love me  
But you're lost on the road to misery  
And what I gave to you  
I could never get back!**_

 _ **Don't complicate it,  
Don't drive yourself insane  
Yeah,  
Say what you will but I know that you want to stay!**_

 _ **So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby  
So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby**_

 _ **Chemicals rushing in,  
I know it's you that I belong to  
I'm fighting like a cannonball in the air  
Crashing into who I belong to  
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh**_

 _ **I have been patient, but slowly I'm losing faith**_

 _ **Please, I know you baby  
I know you baby  
So please, I know you baby  
I know you baby  
So please, I know you baby (The shadows of your heart are hanging in the sweet, sweet air)  
I know you baby  
So please, I know you baby (The secrets that you hide, control us and it's just not fair)  
I know you baby  
The shadows of your heart are hanging in the sweet, sweet air (I know you baby)  
I know you baby  
The secrets that you hide, control us and it's just not fair (I know you baby)  
I know you baby"**_

"I see" I got up from the table walking inside, I place my bowl on the counter. I went into the fridge getting my self a beer.

"Say something Spencer" I kept drinking my beer, I didn't know what she wanted me to say.

"I'm guessing that was about me?" she nodded.

"Spencer I just want you to talk to me, or to someone."

"About what! You all think I need to talk or change! I am fine!"

"You aren't the same Spencer! You use to be this kind loving soul. Now you are this bitchy, drunk, who doesn't give shit about others!"

"I'm sorry that I don't want to be what others want me to be! If you don't like me then take a hike!. I didn't ask you to be in my life!" I smashed the bottle against the wall.

"What about Kyla, or Aiden. Fuck what about our nephew! Think about Arthur!" I turned around and looked at her.

"Don't ever fucking say that name to me again!"

"What, you mean Arthur. The boy who is named after the two most amazing people in everyone lives. The man who saved my best friend life, and a women who was like a mother to Kyla and I!." I shoved Ashley against the wall.

"Shut up!" I yelled.

"Then just tell me what happen, because losing your parents wouldn't make you like this"

"Just stop, I'm asking you to just stop Ashley" I was begging at this point, I didn't want to talk.

"Fine" I let her go, walking over grabbing the broom.

"Thank you."

"Spencer?"

"Yeah?"

"What ever happen, I'm sorry that it did."I looked over at her.

"Why do you think something happen to me Ashley, maybe I just don't want to be hurt anymore. Did you all ever think that maybe between you leaving me, and my parents dieing that I just had enough of getting my heart broken?"

"Is that the case, if so then maybe you should deal with your anger issues"

"No. I got over losing my parents, and over you. It was hard to do it, but I came to a good place about both of them." I took a seat on the couch, looking down at my beer bottle. I felt the couch move next to me, Ashley was sitting next to me.

"Then what made you close up Spence, what made you run away from everyone." I looked over at her, she had tears still coming down her cheeks.

"I got pregnant"

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	11. Chapter 11

11.

 _ **Spencer**_

I took a swig of my beer, and leaned back. As much as I didn't want to ever talk about this, I know Ashley wouldn't drop it.

"You got pregnant?"

"Yes" I looked down at my beer, I started to rip off the label.

"Spencer I will be need more then just a yes"

"Well after I got in a good place with everything, I went out to meet friends. I met Ryan, he was a good guy still is. One night we came back to my room, and well made a baby" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Spencer I get how you made the baby, but the fact you don't have one right now tells me something happen" She said wiping her tears away, and turning to face me.

"Ryan was gayer then I am, and we agreed to be co parents. We both decided not to tell anyone about the baby until I was three months along. I went out and started to look for a job, and Ryan already worked at a coffee shop. I found my self stopping in at Sysco, the local bar that Ryan and I use to go to together. The owner Mike told me he would hire me to do all the paper work stuff, that way I wouldn't be harming my baby in any way. This went on for the next three months. Ryan would pick me up from work, make sure the baby was good. He made sure to attend all the doctors appointments, and even bought the crib for our baby. We decided to move in together till we both could be financially able to live on our own." I stopped to take a drink of my beer, and I felt Ashley hand on my leg.

"Then what happen?" I looked over at her, staring into those beautiful brown eyes.

"I lost the baby. Everything was perfect, then it wasn't. I woke up one morning and something wasn't right. Ryan took me to the hospital, and we were told that we lost the baby. We were going to Kyla and Aidens that weekend to celebrate Glens birthday, but I didn't go. Of course by then Glen thought I was an ass for not visiting him more, but I couldn't with being pregnant, working, and going to school. I was going to tell him at the party that he was going to be an uncle. Glen stopped talking to me, and so did Kyla and Aiden."

"Why didn't you just tell them, you know they would have been there for you"

"I just wanted to be alone. When Mike found out I lost the baby, he brought me here to the cottage. I spent some time here, and finished school. When I graduated he left me the bar, and this cottage. His wife passed away a few years ago, and went to move closer to his family up north. Eventually every one started to come back into my life, but I decided to keep everyone a far distance. Losing the baby was the last straw, I couldn't take anymore heart break."

"Spencer I am so sorry, I wish I had known" I laughed at her responds.

"What would you have done Ashley?"

"I would have been there for you" I got up from the couch to grab another beer, and turned around to face her.

"I don't need anyone, I like being alone. I have been through enough heart break to last a lifetime, I don't need more"

"You can't keep living your life in fear Spencer. Heartbreak is part of living."

"Look Ashley I like the way my life is, and I'm not changing. Now can we talk about something else, and not about my fucked up life please?"

"Can I ask you one more question?" I nodded.

"One more, so make it count"

"Would you ever be able to settle down one day, and fall in love again?" I looked down at my beer, thinking about her question.

"Maybe. I haven't let my self to feel anything more then sexual pleasure, and no ones ever came close from changing my mind" I looked over at Ashley.

"I hope one day someone does make you change your mind, because I would love to see you happy again"

"I never said I wasn't happy Ashley" She walked over moving some out of my face, then giving my arm a squeezed.

"Your forget Spencer, I know you." With that said she walk up stairs, leaving my mind to think about everything.

I put up a wall the day my parents died, I built it thicker when Ashley broke me, and I made it unbreakable when my baby died. I never let anyone get to close to me, not even my own family. Then Ashley comes back and starts cracking my walls. I didn't like how this was going, and part of me knew it was time to run before everything I built started crumbling down.

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R&R Please


	12. Chapter 12

Ch 12.

 _ **Ashley**_

I was at the table writing down some lyrics, trying to match them to the tune. Spencer went up stairs to shower. After her confessions we didn't really talk much. I got everything I wanted to know out of her and some more. It hurt to know that she was closed off, but I would be too if that all happen to me. I got up from the table and turned on some music, I loved this one song that was stuck in my head. I swayed to the song, and noticed Spencer up on the landing watching me. I smiled.

"You wanna dance?"

"I'm enjoying watching or I would" she smiled, and walked down the stairs. I walked over to her, pulling her to dance with me.

At first she kept her distance, but then she slowly moved closer to me. Eventually my hands made there way to her hair, and hers found my back under my shirt. Our bodies fell into a rytham, and close enough I swear she could feel how wet I was getting. I leaned my forehead on hers, and looked into her eyes. I thought I would see emptiness, instead I swear I could see the colour coming back to her blue eyes.

"Trying to find my soul?" I smiled, and ran my hand down her shoulder.

"You have one, you just don't use it" The song ended, and she pulled away from me.

"Tomorrow we had back home, hopefully this weekend helped" she said changing the subject.

"It really did Spencer, thank you. I found a lot being up here for the weekend, and don't worry your past is save with me" She handed me a beer, and we took a seat on the couch.

"Thanks, I don't need everyone to start to react to something that happen in the past" I nodded.

"When are you moving?" She gave me a questioning look.

"I found the papers last night, while I was cleaning up your beer bottle mess" She nodded.

"In a couple of weeks. Its easier if I go there, then to try and do stuff over the phone."

"Who will run the bar while you are gone"

"A friend of mine is coming to watch it for me till I come back"

"You have friends?" She shoved my shoulder, making me hit her with a pillow.

"Yes I do"

"Is this a fuck buddie friend, or an actually friend"

"Why should I tell you?" she took a sip of her drink. I noticed that I had leaned back into her more, and noticed she had moved away.

"Because I am your friend, and curious"

"Omg Ashley Davies is my friend! I need to call the press!" I threw another pillow at her, making her laugh.

"Screw you, anyways. How long will you be away?"

"For about a month. Then I will come back for a bit, and then go back for another month" I nodded.

"When are you going back to making your album?"

"I can start any day, but I asked for a year off so I can relax"

"Don't you want to get another album out, that way you get more money"

"Its not about the money Carlin, its about enjoying the music and the fans" she nodded.

"What is it like being a rock star?" I started to play with her hand, that had been rested on my leg for a bit.

"Its awesome. I love creating music for my fans, and connecting with them. I love hearing them sings the songs I wrote, and seeing them smile when they see them. I don't like the gossip that comes with it, or all the drama. I don't like touring, or staying in hotels. I miss my family, and friends" I looked down at her, she was looking up at me watching me.

"I'm sure Kyla is happy to have you home"

"She is, but she hates it when I am because you tend to leave" I looked away knowing I was why she was leaving all the time. I felt her hand on my cheek, pulling me to look at her.

"I didn't leave because of you. I thought if I saw you then the walls I built would crumble down, and I would relive all the pain I pushed away. You were always the one that could see through me, and I also didn't know how I would react to seeing you. I was afraid that one of us would get hurt, and I didn't want that"

"And now?" I asked her, feeling her fingers run through my hair.

"I want you, but I don't want to hurt you" I leaned down so our lips are itches apart.

"Don't worry about me, I can take care of myself" With that I connected out lips, and instantly knew I was a fool for giving them up so long ago.

* * *

R&R Everyone!


	13. Chapter 13

_**This Chapter is Rated M...**_

 **Ch. 13**

 _Ashley_

I walked into the house quietly, I didn't want to wake anyone up. I walked into the kitchen to grab a water. I leaned back against the counter, remembering last night.

 _ **Flashback...**_

 _Spencer reached her hand down, then slowly ran her hand up my side under my shirt. I felt her teeth on my lip as I let out a moan. I pulled her lips deeper into mine, reaching down to pull off her shirt. She say up looking down at me, I ran my hand down her chest and smiled._

 _"Your so beautiful Spencer" I leaned up capturing her lips in mine again._

 _ **Flashback ended..**._

I could still feel where her lips were attached to my skin. Her fingers left burn marks as she ran them over my skin. I reached up and felt my lips, they were still swollen from kissing her. I closed my eyes remember her voice moaning my name.

 _ **Flashback..**_.

 _I layed her back, kissing down her jawline. I pinned her hands above her head, capturing her lips in mine. I smiled as I heard her moan. I released her hands, kissing down her chest capturing her nipples into my mouth. I felt her fingers in my hair, as I twirled my tongue around her hard nipple._

 _"Assshhh" she moaned._

 _ **Flashback ended.**_

I walked into my room setting my stuff down, and taking my clothes off. I walked into the bathroom, turning on the hot water. The steamed built up as I hopped in letting the hot water fall onto my body. I ran my fingers through my hair, closing my eyes.

 _ **Flashback**_

 _"Don't stop" I moaned as Spencer was now kissing down my body, leaving marks as she went lower. I grabbed the sheets and squeezed as I felt her tongue deep into my centre._

 _"Oh fuck" Spencer was sucking on my clit, as her nails were digging into my thighs as she sucked harder._

 _"You taste so good Ash, look at me" I looked down at her as she licked up my centre, then slowly entered me with her fingers._

 _"Oh god"_

 ** _Flashback ended..._**

I got out of the shower and stood in front of the mirror. I wiped the steam off the window, and looked at all the marks Spencer had left on me. I knew she had the same amount on her as well. I wrapped the towel around me, and walked to my bed. I changed into some shorts and a t- shirt. As I layed down in my bed, I thought about when I woke up this morning.

 _ **Flashback...**_

 _I looked over to find her eyes closed, but I knew she was awake. I reached over moving some hair away from her face, slowly her eyes opened. I was met with the deepest colour of blue possible. I smiled, leaning over kissing her gently. Her hand found its way to my back where she flipped us so she was hovering above me. I reached up running my thumb over her bottom lip, she slowly kissed it._

 _"Good morning Ashley" I smiled, capturing her lips in mine._

 _ **Flashback ended.**_

We stayed in bed all day. The sun was just coming up when we woke up, and was going down when we decided to head home. We never spoke about what had taken place, but our hands, and lips never stopped touching till I walked into this house tonight. I held my knees to my chest, and looked over at my phone. I was waiting for a call, or a text. I knew I wasn't going to get one, but it didn't help but hope.

"Hey you home?" Kyla said walking into my room, taking a seat in front of me.

"I am"

"How was your weekend?"

"It was good" She looked at me, like she was trying to figure something out.

"You okay Ash?" I nodded.

"Just tired."

"Well I'll let you sleep, I'm glad you had fun this weekend with Spencer." I nodded.

"Kyla?"

"Yeah?" She turned around to look at me.

"She loves you guys. She just doesn't know how to show it anymore" She smiled, and turned to leave my room.

I layed down into my bed, checking my phone one last time. I finally sat it down on the pillow next to me, and closed my eyes. I wanted to go back to the night and day I spent with Spencer, I wanted to feel her touch again, but I knew it wasn't going to happen again.

 _ **Tap. Tap. Tap.**_

I got up from my bed, putting my robe on. I walked over to the window opening it up, I looked down to see Spencer standing there with rocks in her hand. I smiled shaking my head, she pointed to the front door. I nodded.

I got to the front door, and when I opened it I found Spencer standing there in a casual looking way. I opened the door for her to come in, and found my self against it with blue eyes staring at me. I wrapped my arms around her, and let her lift me up. I captured her lips in mine, as she carried me upstairs back into my room.

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Hope you Enjoyed that Chapter...


	14. Chapter 14

**Ch. 14**

 _Spencer_

The sun was poking through the curtains, as I watched Ashley sleep. She looked so peaceful. I leaned down kissing her forehead, and smiled when she moved closer to me. I pulled the covers over her, and gently got out of bed. I quickly got dressed, leaving a not for her. I turned to look at her before I left, I Smiled at her sleeping one last time then slipped out.

I didn't want to go straight home, but I didn't know where to go. I kept thinking about what happen with Ashley, and why I let it happen. I didn't want to hurt her, but I wanted her so bad. I was going to go straight home after I dropped her off, but instead I found my self in her bed. I have been with many girls, but she was like something I couldn't get enough. She knew what I liked, and she wasn't afraid to dominate me when she wanted to. Kelly and I did have a sex relationship, but even she couldn't satisfy me fully. If I was a vampire, Kelly would be my animal blood. Ashley would be human, and I wouldn't be able to stop.

I pulled up to the spot, looking over. I hadn't been here in a long time, part of me never wanted to ever come here. I got out of my car, and walked through the rows until I came to the spot I came for. My parents grave. I brushed off some of the leaves that had fallen on the stone, and fix the flowers that someone had laid.

"Hey guys, I miss you. I wish you were here to tell me what to do. Mom I know you are shaking your head at me, I'm sorry. You wouldn't be proud of who I have become, and I'm sorry. I wish that I could be someone you would be proud of, but I can't be that girl. I have been through so much pain, and I can't take anymore of it. I know you told me that I would be marrying Ashley one day dad, but I don't think that day will ever come. I care for her to much to let her be hurt by my life choices. I'm afraid that if I let my self be with her or anyone, I'll hurt them. I can't let my self trust anyone, and no one can have a relationship with out trust. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry. The Spencer you last saw was full of life, and now I don't know. I do know that I miss you both every fucking day, and I wish you were here" I wiped the tears from my eyes, and stood up. I place my hand on there tombstone, then turned back to the car.

* * *

 _ **1 Week later...**_

I was putting the delivery away. I closed the bar down for the week, and gave my staff the week off. In the last week I didn't answer anyone calls, and ignored the pounding at my door every day. Glen must of lost his key, because he didn't just walk in like usual. Ashley never text me or even called me, I was surprised by that.

I grabbed my cloth and made my rounds washing all the tables. Tonight I was opening up again for karaoke night. There was over 15 people sign up, and more on a waiting list. I turned up the music as I kept cleaning. Days like this I enjoyed, just cleaning and being alone. I blew out some air as I heard the back door shut, guess I don't get to be alone. I turned around and was faced with the brunette I haven't stopped thinking about. Ashley.

"I see you are opening up again" I nodded, and kept cleaning tables.

"I needed a holiday"

"How was it?" I shrugged.

"Spencer can we talk?" I put down my cloth, and walk over to the bar where she was sitting.

"Whats up?" I handed her a beer, and open one for myself.

"I don't know how to talk about this without you thinking I'm being clingy"

"Just say what you got to say Ashley. I got shit to do"

"Why didn't you talk to me after last weekend. I know you don't do relationships, and I knew what I was getting my self into when we slept together. I just don't know why you disappeared."

"I didn't, I was busy and lost track of the days" She shook her head, and took a sip of her beer.

"Bullshit, but if that's the story your sticking to"

"What do you want Ashley?" She looked up at me, and she was biting her lip. Fuck that killed me.

"I want us to be friends"

"We are"

"Then stop avoiding me, and start being more social" I laughed.

"Yes Ma'am"

"I'm serious Spencer. The other night happen, and it was great. I want to just move past it and be your friend. I enjoyed spending time with you, and I know you need a friend as well"

"I have plenty of friends"

"Have you told them your past?"

"No"

"So you need me, because I know it."

"Fine, we can be friends"

"Great. I'll see you tonight then" I gave her a questioning look.

"What about tonight?"

"I'm singing, check your list" with that said she was gone.

I don't know how this was going to turn out, but I couldn't help the smile that was on my face. Ashley seemed to have a way to make me smile, and I wasn't complaining. I grabbed my cloth, and continued cleaning.

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R&R Please


	15. Chapter 15

**Ch. 15**

 _ **Ashley**_

We had arrived had the bar a hour ago, and the bar was more busy then the last time I came here. Of course Spencer made sure we got V.I.P treatment, and my own body guard. Apeartly Spencer told him to let me know that if I am performing tonight, she didn't want any psycho fans coming after me. Kyla laughed when I said Aiden could just be my body guard for the night, apparently he went soft when he became a father.

"Hey guys!" Glen said he was coming tonight, since the last time we were all together was back in high school.

"Glen, wow dude you got old" I said giving him a hug, he was always like a big brother to me.

"I would say the same, but damn Davies you stayed hot" I smiled, and my sister just rolled her eyes.

"Have you gone on yet?"

"No I am going on in a bit, Mitch is coming to get me when I am up"

"My baby sister wanted to make sure you are safe eh?"

"I'm not your baby sister ass, we are a min apart" I smiled as Spencer gave her brother a hug, then sat beside me.

"I didn't need a body guard Spencer, I'm a big girl"

"I wasn't take a chance, sorry" She grabbed my drink and took a sip. Fuck her lips were kissable.

"Its busy tonight, is it usually this busy for a Friday night?" Glen asked Spencer.

"No, I was closed for a week. It was suppose to be karaoke tonight, but everyone wanted to sing original songs. So when everyone found out it was open mic night they all came out."

"Oh my gosh Ashley maybe you will be offered a record deal!" Kyla said laughing.

"Maybe!" We all laughed.

"Okay lets go dance and get front row to watch my famous talented sister do her thang!" We laughed and watch the three of them leave.

"Glen, don't leave without saying bye okay?" he nodded.

"Whens the last time you saw him?" I didn't move over after they left, I think I had moved closer to her.

"When I punched him"

"Oh" she nodded.

"We don't talk much anymore, his birthday is coming up tho. I might give him a party"

"I think he would love that" She smiled, and took another sip of my drink.

"Davies your up" I nodded, and Spencer moved to allow me out.

"Good luck" I smiled, and walked towards the stage.

"Please welcome Ashley Davies!" All of sudden the crowd stopped, then turned towards me and started to scream. I was use to this reaction, but I wish I got them to say a different name. I might need Mitch after all.

"Hey everyone, thanks for having me tonight. I want to share a new song that I have been working on." I spoke grabbing the guitar.

 ** _"If you're going out with someone new_**  
 ** _I'm going out with someone too_**  
 ** _I won't feel sorry for me, I'm getting drunk_**  
 ** _But I'd much rather be somewhere with you_**

 ** _Laughing loud on a carnival ride, yeah_**  
 ** _Driving around on a Saturday night_**  
 ** _You made fun of me for singing my song_**  
 ** _Got a hotel room just to turn you on"_**

* * *

 **Spencer**

I walked back down to the bar as Ashley went towards the stage. The stage is where she always belonged, it was like she was born to be up there.

"Can I get a beer please?" I nodded and gave the men in front of me a beer, and took his money. I served some more costumers as I listened to Ashley.

"Can I get a vodka on ice please with a lime?" I knew that voice, I looked up to see her.

"Fuck my life" She tilted her head, and gave me a smile.

"Now Spencer lets leave that for after hours shall we?"

* * *

 **Ashley**

I thanked everyone when I was finished, and allow Mitch help me get off stage and back up to where everyone was sitting again. I did see Spencer talking to a girl at the bar, part of me wanted to know who it was.

"Ashley you did great!"

"Thanks everyone, it was fun performing for a small crowd."

"Did you just write that song?" Kyla asked, I nodded.

"Thanks Mitch I will call you if I need you" he nodded, and left. My eyes went down to where Spencer was still talking to that girl.

"Who is that girl?" I finally asked.

"Oh look who came back Aiden?" Kyla tapped Aidens shoulder, looking down at the girl Spencer was talking to.

* * *

 **Spencer**

"What are you doing here Kelly?"

"I heard you were heading to New York, and I came to offer my help"

"Why would I want your help?"

"Because you can't be in two places at once, so you will need someone here to run the bar for you. I know how everything works and I will do it for free. Plus I owe you"

"I already have someone, so you can leave" I turned to walk away, when she grabbed my hand.

"I wanted to come back and say I'm sorry"

"Don't waste your breathe, now leave or I will get Mitch to help you leave" I walked past her and went out the back door.

I slammed my fish against the wall, and kicked a box that was on the ground. Having Ashley back I could deal with, but I can't handle having Kelly here too. I kicked the box again, and slid down the wall.

"You okay Spencer?" I looked up and saw Sam.

"I'll be fine" she walked over, and knelled in front of me.

"Wanna get out of here?" I nodded, taking her hand. We walked through the bar, and I grabbed my keys before heading out the front door.

* * *

Till next chapter...

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	16. Chapter 16

Ch. 16

 _ **Spencer**_

We walked outside into the parking lot, I went to my car and got a smoke. Sam was a close friend of mine, and was Mitch's wife. She was studying to be a Psychologist. They got married last year at my cottage. They both didn't have a lot of family, so I offered them my cottage.

"Whats going on Spence?"

"Where would you like me to start Sam?" She shook her head, taking a seat on the hood of my car.

"I see Ashley is back in the picture, when did that happen"

"She came home a couple of weeks ago, and just kinda stayed in the picture"

"How are you dealing with all that?"

"Good I guess, I took her to the cottage last weekend" She looked at me shocked. I don't take anyone their, its my place of peace.

"Carlin are you growing a heart?"

"She was having a hard time writing music, and I thought the peaceful weekend at a cottage might help" I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Did it?" I nodded, looking down at my feet.

"You slept with her didn't you!" She slapped my arm, and smirked.

"Yes, but it wasn't like that Sam." Sam knew about my one night stands, and how I was with girls.

"You telling me it was full of passion, love, and sexual want?" she said rolling her eyes, I looked over at her biting my lip.

"Damn Carlin she got to your stone cold heart didn't she?" She jumped off the hood, and shouted out a yes.

"No, but it wasn't just a hook up….it was…..nice"

"Nice?" I nodded, flicking my smoke and putting my hands in my pockets.

"Yeah. I felt free Sam. I know it sounds odd, but I felt like I could just let everything disappear and just be with her."

"Then why are you out here with me, and not in there with her?"

"I ran…." She nodded, and leaned back against the car.

"I can't do it Sam, I can't be what she wants"

"Do you know what she wants?"

"I know she doesn't want to be a one night stand, or a girl who only gets called when I'm lonely"

"How do you know?"

"Because I know her Sam.."

"Wrong, you use to know her Spencer. Its been five years. You have changed, she probably has too. Besides what if she does what the forever after life, what is so wrong with that. Don't you want a wife, a couple of kids, and your forever after?"

"I never really thought about it, I have been happy with the way my life is"

"Then why do you hate Kelly?"

"I don't" She rolled her eyes.

"Bullshit Carlin, you practically hit her for talking to you tonight."

"Okay...I get it. I just don't know what I want anymore Sam. Things were so simple a couple of weeks ago, and now…."

"You're lost" I nodded.

"Maybe you need a weekend alone at the cottage"

"Apperety I spend to much time there. My friends have this theory that I Run away for months on end."

"You do Spencer, but I think its different on our end. You at lease tell Mitch and I when you leave, because we look after the bar for you. Kyla and Aiden you don't. You have pushed them away, and that's not fair to them"

"Whoa Doc" I held up my hands, and we both laughed.

"You know I'm right Spencer." I nodded.

"So what is you advice for me tonight Dr Sam?" She smiled.

"My advice to you Spencer is to take the jump. You have been on this cliff looking down at everything, being afraid to take the one leap. You almost did with Kelly, but she pushed you back. Just jump, stop being afraid, stop thinking about all the bad things that could go wrong, just close your eyes and jump" I nodded, and gave her a hug.

"Okay Doc, this time I will take your advice"

"You better, because I need a favor" I rolled my eyes.

"What do you need?"

"I need you to let Mitch go home early tonight"

"Why, whats going on?" She smiled, and look down at her hands that were resting on her stomach.

"I need to tell him that he is going to be a father" I smiled wide, and gave her another hug.

"Congrats Sam, I am so happy for you both" She pulled back, and nodded towards the building. Ashley.

"Go get your girl, while I go get my baby daddy" I laughed, and let her leave.

I walked over to where Ashley was, she seemed up set. That didn't surprise me.

"What brings you out here Ashley?"

"I was looking for you, and well now I see why" she said rolling her eyes at me.

"Sam is Mitch's wife, and one of my friends"

"Oh, sorry" She said looking down at her shoes.

"Its okay"

"I saw you fighting with Kelly, I thought you two were good?" she said looking at me.

"We were at one point, but we ended things on bad terms"

"How so?"

"How abut we talk about this later, and we go back in to enjoy the night with our family?" She smiled wide.

As we started to walk into the building, I stopped as I saw Sam telling Mitch he was going to be a father. I smiled as I watched him fall to his knees, kissing her stomach.

"I want that one day" Ashley said.

"Good to know" I replied, as I led her inside where everyone was waiting for us.

* * *

Will Spencer Jump?...Till next time.

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	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

 _Spencer_

"Fuck he got heavy!" I said as Aiden and I placed my brother down on the couch.

"Its all those beers you give him"

"Bullshit, thats all the burgers he eats. The man needs to learn how to cook" I rolled my shoulder, it was sore from helping Aiden carry my brother.

"I'll start teaching him how to flip an egg tomorrow"

"Might want to start with showing him what a kitchen looks like" we both laughed.

"Oh he knows what that is, its where his microwave is" Aiden said, holding his stomach laughing.

"Fuck off ass!" Glen said, making us laugh even more.

"You both done being asses?" We turned to see Ashley and Kyla standing with there arms crossed.

"Yes dear, lets go to bed and I'll give you a nice rub down" Aiden said walking over to his wife.

"I'll give you a rub down" she said smacking his head, and walking up stairs.

"Night guys!" She said while Aiden ran up stairs behind him. I looked over at Ashley and we both burst out laughing.

"Wow he is whipped" I nodded.

"I once saw him get on his knees saying sorry, because he made Kyla cry when she was pregnant."

"She was faking it wasn't she?" Ashley asked.

"Totally" We both laughed, walking over to the staircase.

"Well I better get home, I had fun tonight" I said, playing with my keys.

"You know you could always spend the night, your brother is here. We could have a family breakfast in the morning." I bit my lip and thought about it, the night with Ashley would be nice.

"I would love to take you up on that offer, but I think I should sleep in my own bed tonight" She nodded, and looked down.

"How about I swing by tomorrow morning and take you out for breakfast instead?" She smiled, and nodded.

"Okay, I will see you tomorrow. Good night Ashley" I leaned up kissing her cheek.

"Good night Carlin" I heard as I headed towards my car, of course with a smile on my face.

* * *

 _ **Ashley**_

I couldn't help but smile as she left. Spencer always had a way of making me blush, and the tingles still got to me too. I turned and climb the stairs where I was met with my sister giving me a pointed look.

"Hi Kyla"

"No hi me, what was that about?"

"What do you mean?"

"You and Spencer, are you two a thing?" I walked past her into my room, and sat down on my bed.

"No, we are not a thing." She came over and turned my head, my hickey was showing. Spencer might have got a little carried away tonight while dancing with me.

"What is this?"

"Well that my dear sister is called a hickey" she shook her head.

"I know what is is Ash, who gave it to you?" I bit my lip, and looked down at my hands. I felt like I was in trouble.

"Spencer"

"What! When?"

"Tonight"

"How did I not see this, when did it happen, what does this mean!" I stood up stopping her from freaking out.

"Calm down its just a hickey, jeez that's nothing compared to the stuff we have done." I mentally slapped my self for saying that sentence.

"What do you mean?" I rolled my eyes and sat down beside her.

"You promise not to say anything to anyone?" she nodded.

"Spencer and I slept together"

"Like slept together in like S.E.X?"

"Yes we fucked, we bumped uglies, she put her fingers..."her hand was on my mouth shutting me up.

"Got it" I laughed as she thought about what I had just told her.

"Wow...you two...really...how?"

"Well first we made out, then we moved to the bed and she..."

"Ashley shut up!"

"You asked how!" She shook her head.

"I meant how did you two become...close?"

"I don't know, I guess I just didn't let her push me away."

"Well I'm happy for you" she patted my leg.

"Why are you happy for me?"

"Because I know how much you still care for her"

"Kyla I do care for her, but I don't think she will ever be ready to be what I need"

"What do you need?"

"I need someone who is ready to take on life with me. Who wants the same thing as I do."

"Give her time Ash, she might surprise you"

"I don't think she will, she is pretty set in her ways"

"Well she surprised me by being friends with you again" We both smiled.

"Ashley you got further with Spencer in the few weeks you been here, then any of us have been. Don't give up on something you want."

"What if I'm not what she wants?" Kyla looked at me and smiled.

"Everything happens for a reason." We said in union. Spencer mother use to say that to us all the time.

"Don't think about it too much Ash. Remember to listen to your heart, it will lead you to where you gotta be" I smiled giving my sister a hug.

"Thanks, goodnight Kyla"

"Night Ash" She closed my door, as I stripped down and got into bed.

I layed in bed staring at my ceiling thinking about what Kyla had said. As much as I wanted to just jump to the end and find out how this will end, I need to play this out.

 _Ring Ring Ring_

I looked over at the clock it was almost three in the morning. I reached over grabbing my cellphone. Spencer.

"Did you forget something?" I said.

 _"No"_

"Then why are you calling me Spencer?" I didn't mean for it to sound harsh, I honestly wanted to know why she was calling me. She never has.

" _I don't know, I just wanted to talk to you"_ I layed back putting my one arm behind my head.

"What do you want to talk about?"

 _"Sex"_ I laughed.

* * *

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	18. Chapter 18

Hey everyone. I just want to say sorry for not updating as much. Thank you for all your wonderful feedback, keep it coming Please. Recently I have been very sick and not just a common cold sick, Then got fired from my job over a really stupid reason, and got into this depressed mode. If you suffer from depression, then you know how hard it is to do the stuff you love doing anymore. I thought I would force my self to do something today, then to lay in bed all day. I am also getting married in Aug, and my fiance and I have alot of planning to do still. Okay so that is my reason why I haven't updated, I do love writing for all of you. Thank you for sticking with me. - Sushi1976

 **Ch. 18**

 _ **Spencer**_

I walked into the house that once was my second home, I was here to pick up Ashley for breakfast. I didn't bother to knock, I was tired of getting yelled at for doing so. The smell of fresh baked goods filled my nose, Aiden was making breakfast. I walked into the kitchen to find him trying to show my brother how to flip an egg, and Kyla, Ashley laughing at them.

"I told you to start him off easy Aiden" I said making my self known. I walked over to stand next to Ashley.

"Hey I already flipped a pancake!" I rolled my eyes at my brother, and turned my attention to Ashley. She was still in her P jays

"If that's what you are wearing, then I am so over dressed" she laughed.

"Well I came down for coffee, and had to stay to watch Glen." I nodded.

"Why don't you stay and eat here, we made a lot" Kyla said.

"I don't trust my brother cooking" Glen gave me a hurt look.

"Oh come on, take a seat Spencer. I promise I did most of the cooking" Aiden said passing me a plate.

"Fine" I took a seat next to Ashley.

"How was the rest of your night?" she asked, as she started to eat her food.

"Interesting" I gave her a knowing look.

"Oh ya?" she smirked. Little bitch left me with blue balls so to speak.

"Ya, had a conversation on the phone with someone who left me with fucking blue ball so to speak"

"Language!" Kyla said, covering Dylan's ears. Ashley and I both laughed.

"Sorry" I said.

"Anyways, what are your plans for today?" Ashley asked, stealing some of my bacon.

"Don't have any"

"Aren't you leaving soon Spencer, for New York?" I nodded at Aiden.

"Soon, I keep putting it off tho."

"Why would that be?" Kyla said looking right at me.

"Keep getting distracted" I smiled, and making Ashley blush.

"What could be so distracting that you forget to fly to New York?" Glen is stupid sometimes.

"A really good conversation Glen" We all laughed, and Glen had no clue what we were talking about.

We all enjoyed are breakfast together, and of course picking on Glen. Eventually breakfast was put away, and we sat around drinking coffee. I watched everyone laugh, and be happy, it reminded me of the times we spent in our kitchen growing up.

"Glen do you have a girlfriend?" I asked out of no where.

"No why?"

"Just wondering" I didn't really talk to him a lot, and its a question I should know.

"Does one of your bartenders want to hook up with this sexy cooking beast?" Glen said holding up a flipper

"Aiden is already taken glen" He gave me an evil look, and smack my shoulder.

"Fuck you sis, I'm being serious" I laughed.

"Sorry bro, they are all taken."

"Dammit" He excused him self to go to the bathroom, I found my self watching Dylan play with his toys in his play pin.

"Whats on your mind Carlin" Ashley asked me.

"Nothing" I smiled, taking a sip of my coffee.

"Remember when you said you wanted to give your brother a birthday party?" She asked after Kyla and Aiden had taken Dylan to the living room.

"Yes"

"If you are throwing him a party, wouldn't it be for you too?" Yes we were twins.

"I don't do birthdays"

"Since when?" I looked down at my coffee.

"Since I stop celebrating them" She nodded.

"Well I think we should go to your cabin this weekend for both of your birthdays, and have a party"

"Ashley that cabin is for me, and for me only" she rolled her eyes.

"You're not running away anymore Carlin, you are stuck with me. So suck it up and get ready for this weekend"

"I can just refuse to give you the keys, or the directions on how to get there"

"Spencer, please?"

"Why do you want to celebrate it there?"

"Because I think we should all get away together"

"So lets go to your place, that's somewhere I haven't been. Wait do you even have a home?" She smiled and nodded.

"Yes smart ass I have two. And no we are going to your cottage"

"You have two?"

"Yes one in Europe, and one in New York" I gave her a shocked look.

"Why in those two places?"

"I do a lot of travelling in both places, and then I have this home when I want to be alone" I nodded, and took my cup to the sink.

"How many cars do you own?" I asked leaning on my elbows on the counter in front of her.

"Three"

"Do you have any pets?"

"No. Are you done with the questions?"

"No" We have been focused on my life so much, I don't know anything about her.

"Well I am, lets go. You owe me a breakfast" She said leaving her kitchen going to her room. I followed behind her into her room.

"We just had breakfast, I owe you nothing. Besides you owe me for last night" Giving her a pointed look.

"Why didn't you just go find someone to get rid of the problem" She said walking out of her closet just in her underwear and bra.

"I tried, she was too tired. She even left me all worked up" She walked over to stand in between my legs, wrapping her arms around me.

"Spencer are you hoping I feel bad for you, just so you can get a quick fuck out of me?" I ran my hands up her sides.

"No, I'm hoping to get a long fuck out of you" She shook her head, and pushed me back onto the bed. Then jumped up so she was hovering over me.

"Tell me what you want Spencer" Her lips were so close to mine, I could feel her breathe.

"I want you Ashley" She smiled, then connected our lips.

* * *

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	19. Chapter 19

**Ch. 19**

 _ **Spencer**_

I found my self watching her again, waiting for her to wake up. I ran my thumb over her lips, and leaned down kissing her gently. I watched as her eyes opened up slowly, and a smile appeared on her.

"Hey" she said.

"Hey" She leaned up giving me another kiss, running her hand down my arm.

"You are still here"

"Why wouldn't I be?" I said giving her a questioning look.

"Last time you left"

"Well I have no reason to" She smiled, and sat up covering her top half with the sheet.

"Spencer I think we should have a talk" Oh great. I sat up making my self comfortable, leaning against the headboard.

"I'm guessing the talk that no one wants to have" She nodded.

"Okay" I looked at her and waited for her to speak, because I sure as hell wasn't going to start this conversation.

"I know what I want Spencer, but I don't know if its what you want. If its not then I don't know if I can keep doing this" There it is folks, the start of a dreading conversation.

"What do you want Ashley?"

"I want someone to start a life with, someone who wants marriage and kids. I want to be with someone who wants to be with me. I don't want to be someones rebound"

"You are not a rebound Ashley"

"What about Kelly, didn't something happen between you two?"

"Not really. We fucked around, then we started to hang out daily. I thought that we could be something so I asked her to go steady. She said no, then left" She looked over at me.

"Then I came to town and you made me your no fuck buddies?" I shook my head.

"No Ashley, I slept with you because I wanted to. If I just wanted a good fuck for the night I wouldn't have done that to you."

"Then what do you want from this, from us?"

"I don't know Ash, but I like being around you" She rolled her eyes, and got out of bed putting on clothes.

"T hats great Spencer, but I'm not going to keep doing this with you. I can't I'm sorry" I moved and sat on the side of the bed, and pulled her to me.

"Ashley, I honestly don't know what I want. I do know that since you been back I can't stay away from you. Since you came back you have stormed into my life, and knocked down all the walls I have built up. I tried to keep you at a distance, but you wouldn't let me."

"So this is my fault?"

"Ashley you wouldn't let things be. You dug into my past, and present. You came to me even when you knew I didn't want you to. You knew how I live my life, and still you allowed us to go as far as we did." She pulled away.

"I care about you Spencer, I just wanted to know what happen. The stories I heard about you, I didn't want to believe. I knew there was a reason, and I wanted to know."

"Well now you know everything, happy?" I got up and started to get dressed, I needed to leave.

"Spencer do you want the same thing as me?" I finished what I was doing, and turned to face her.

"I don't know Ash. I like the way my life is, and I haven't been in a relationship in a very long time."

"So Kelly is good enough, but I'm not?" Now she was angry, fuck my life.

"Think about it Ashley. Kelly is definitely not the relationship type, so I have no idea why I thought that is something I wanted. I was stupid to even think it would work out. What if I'm making another stupid mistake and jump into a relationship with you?" oh shit, wrong way to put that.

"So being with me would be a mistake?"

"No, but what if we aren't suppose to be together Ash. What if the life you want is not with me, but with someone who is ready for that. Look at me, do you really think I'm the right person to start a life with.?"

"You use to think that we were meant to be together, what changed?"

"Life" I answered, and walked out of the room and down the stairs.

"Its about time you get up" Glen said walking over with Kyla and Aiden behind him.

"Fuck off Glen" I grabbed my keys and went for the door.

"Spencer you open that door then we are through, I don't ever want to see you again!" I turned around and looked up at Ashley.

"Good bye Ashley"

* * *

 **Ashley**

I stood there looking at the closed door. She left, just like she always does. I took a seat on the stairs, and put my head in my hands. I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to cry over her.

"Ash, what happen?" I looked up at everyone.

"She left Ky, like she always does"

"Why?" Glen looked angry, like this hurt him just as much.

"I wanted more, and she doesn't" I felt Kyla rub my back, as I closed my eyes.

"Ashley my sister is a bitch, don't let her hurt you too"

"Its my own fault Glen. I knew what I was walking into, but I thought it was different."

"I'm going to go, I will see you guys later"

"Glen don't!" I screamed at him, but he was gone before we could stop him.

"He will be fine Ash, he probably went to cool off. Spencer has never made him this angry before"

"Shouldn't I be the angry one?"

"Spencer hurt someone he sees as family, and Glen doesn't take that easy" I nodded, and leaned into Kyla arms.

"I fell for her Kyla, I fell hard"

"I know Ash, I'm so sorry" That's all it took, and I was a crying mess in my sisters arms.

Spencer Carlin broke my heart, then left me. Just like I did to her.

* * *

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	20. Chapter 20

**Ch 20.**

 _ **Ashley**_

Its been another week and no one has heard from Spencer. I tried to call her a couple of times, I even went to the cottage. Nothing. Finally I went to the bar and found Sam in the office. She told me that Spencer left for New York. When she asked me what happen I explained, she wasn't shocked. I thought about going to New York, but everyone agreed I should just let it go. That's what I did. At first I became bored, and I couldn't even look at a guitar. Then I made friends with Sam, and I have been helping her with the bar.

"Ashley can you get be another case please?" I nodded and walked to the back to grab another case of beer, and walked it back to her.

"You know you are a rock star right?"

"I know"

"Then why rant you out there rocking out, and here doing this bullshit job?" I shrugged.

"I can't even stand music right now" She nodded.

"She will come back one day, are you ready for that?"

"I don't know."

"Sounds like someone I know" I gave her an evil look.

"I'm not like her Sam, I know what I want. She doesn't." I leaned against the bar, and played with the clipboard in my hand.

"She knows what she wants, she is too afraid to admit it" I turned around to take someone order, then went back to Sam.

"What do you mean?"

"I talked to Spencer the night Kelly showed up. I told her to just jump off the cliff she has been standing on. I guess she was too afraid too"

"She did for Kelly" I rolled my eyes, I hated to know she wanted that with Kelly.

"She did, and Kelly pushed her right back. Spencer can be a bitch, but she still has a heart like all of us. Put your self in her shoes"

"What do you mean, her shoes are simple. Like she said, sex, beer, sleep."

"Ash did you ever think about what would it do to Spencer if she ever gone hurt?"

"I'm so confused right now" Sam rolled her eyes, and handed a beer to someone.

"Spencer never dated anyone since you. Ashley you were the love of her life, the one she wanted to marry. Then when you left her, a lot of shit happen that tore her apart. One day she finally feels safe and comfortable to finally have that relationship again." I nodded.

"And Kelly hurt her by turning her down"

"Not just that, but she also left Spencer..."

"Just like I did" Now I felt like shit.

"Ashley you might not have seen it, but I know she was falling for you. You came into her life, and not once did she push you away. Fuck she even took you to the cottage to help you with your music. She cared about you, but not in the way you saw it"

"Fuck Sam, make a person feel bad" She came over and stood in front of me.

"I don't want you to feel bad, but you need to see it from her side. She didn't leave because she wanted to hurt anyone, she left because she doesn't like anyone seeing her hurt. Spencer is the most fragile person I met, but the strongest as well."

"So what do I do now?" She smiled and handed me my keys.

"You go home, and carry on with your life. Spencer has the right to live her life the way she wants, and you need to respect that. Maybe one day you will find your way back to each other, but don't stop living your life because of one single person" I nodded, and gave her a hug.

"Thanks Dr Sam" She laughed.

* * *

 **1 Month Later...**

We all arrived at the bar together, with Sam and Mitch. We decided to celebrate Kyla's birthday here, and include Glens belated birthday. With all the bullshit with Spencer, we forgot about his birthday. Sam made sure we had a booth to ourselves, and Mitch stayed close to me just so I wasn't attached by a crazy fan.

"Hey everyone, what can I get you all" one of the bartenders came and asked us, she was new.

"Hey Rachel, here is our list, make sure you bring ice please" Sam said.

"New?" I asked.

"Ya" she nodded.

"Okay I'm off, time to get my freak on" I smiled at Glen as he took off towards the dance floor.

"You would never guess he was related to Spencer" Mitch said, we all laughed.

"Believe it or not in high school he had a not of girls" Aiden said.

We all decided to go down and join Glen on the dance floor. Kyla and Aiden were dancing next to me, with Sam and Mitch on behind me. I was dancing with some girl who pulled me up to her, I wasn't complaining she was hot. The bass was getting louder, and the alcohol was going through me. I felt the girl slide her hand up under shirt, pulling me closer to her. I reached up wrapping my arms around her neck, and started to grind into her. When I looked past her my eyes made contact with blue ones staring at me from the bar. Spencer.

"I'll be right back"

I pulled away from her and headed straight to the bar, she was gone. I looked everywhere and I couldn't find her. I walked to the office, but it was locked.

"She isn't here" I turned around to Mitch standing there, handing me a beer.

"I swear I saw her Mitch" He laughed

"I think you had to much to drink" he tried to take my beer, but I pulled it back.

"Whatever, lets go" I walked back to the dance floor, and continued to dance with everyone. I could feel someones eyes on me.

"Ash you okay?" I nodded at Kyla, and we all decided to go back up to the booth.

"I swear she is here Kyla."

"How do you know?"

"I know its stupid, but I can feel her"

"Well if she is, then so what. This is her bar" I nodded.

"Your right" I still wanted to talk to her.

"Happy Birthday to you..." Sam started to sing as she was bringing a cake for Kyla, and Mitch was carrying one for Glen.

* * *

We all ended back at Kyla's and Aidens. Mitch and Glen were in the living room playing video games, while we were in the kitchen talking.

"So Sam, are you excited to be a mom?" she smiled.

"I really am, and Mitch is over the moon. He even has the nursery all ready, and baby proof the whole house" We laughed, he was such a softy.

"Will Mitch be a stay at home father?" Aiden asked.

"He wants to. We think he will work nights, so he can watch the little one while I'm in school"

"Aiden wanted to be a stay at home father, but after the first night he decided he wanted to go to work" we all laughed.

 _ **Ding Dong**_

We all looked at the front door. Kyla got up and walked over to answer it, then came back into the kitchen. This time hold two Envelopes.

"Glen!" Glen came in and took the one that had his name on it.

"Who was at the door" I asked.

"No one" They opened the cards.

"Happy Birthday, Love Spencer" They both spoke, and looked up at us. Inside was gifts to two different places. One was for a massage, and a spa treatment for Kyla. The second one was tickets for a basketball game.

"Wow she does have a heart" I said.

"I don't think I ever got a present from her" Glen said, and took a seat next to me.

"Didn't she get you a sign basketball once?"

"Ya back in high school" I nodded.

We carried on with the night, forgetting about the presents and Spencer. After a while Same and Mitch decided to go home, and Glen did too. I said my goodbyes and walked up to my room. I looked at my bed. This room just reminded me of Spencer. I don't know why she had such an impact on my life. I felt like I was stuck in this round about, and I couldn't get away from her. I grabbed my keys and walk down to my car, I needed to end this.

* * *

I pulled up to her place, I could see one of her lights were on. I don't know why I was here, but I felt like this would make it all end. I was tired of thinking about her, wanting her. I got out of my car, and walked up to her door. I knocked on the door, and waited. Eventually the door opened, and I found those blue eyes again.

"I was wondering when you were going to come by" I stepped into her place, and noticed how empty it looked.

"Are you moving?" She shook her head.

"Renovating" I nodded

"Why?"

"Needed a change" I nodded again.

"I don't know why I came here, I'm going to go" I turned to leave.

"You came to yell at me, to tell me I was a bitch for leaving. That you hate that you still think of me, and you want me out of your head" I looked at her, she had no expression on her face.

"Pretty much"

"Well I'm sorry you feel that way, I didn't want you hurting like this."

"It doesn't hurt anymore, I just don't understand why I can't get over you. We only hung out for a few times, and you are burned into my head."

"Because your in love with me" I rolled my eyes.

"Keep thinking the highly of your self Spencer" She walked closer to me, and I feel my heart to start thumping faster.

"My heart did the same tonight when I saw you"

"Why did you leave"

"Because I was afraid I would do something that neither of us would want"

"What would that be?"

"Kick that girls ass for touching you"

"Why would you be upset for someone touching me, you didn't want me remember?"

"I never said I didn't want you, I said I wasn't sure if I was ready for a relationship."

"So you want me, but not a relationship?" She shook her head again.

"I want a relationship, but I don't know if I'm ready."

"Well when you are, I hope you find someone."

"I have" I looked at her, her eyes became a very light blue. It was like I could see her soul fade away.

"Spencer..." Her lips were on mine, and I allowed them to stay. I found my hands on her face, and my tongue wanting to be with hers. She pulled away, and looked me in the eyes.

"I love you Ashley Davies" I smiled, and kissed her one more time.

"I love you too Spencer Carlin" Just like that her eyes became more brighter.


	21. Chapter 21

**Ch.21**

 _ **Ashley**_

I squinted my eyes as the sun was shinning in through the curtains. I reached out, but no one was beside me. I opened my eyes, was it all a dream?. I sat up and looked around, I was in Spencer bedroom. I looked around, but she wasn't there.

"Spencer?" Just then she came in from the hallway, and smiled.

"Sorry, I had to answer a call" She walked over and sat on the bed, kissing my forehead.

"I thought it was all a dream"

"You're not dreaming Ash, its real"

"Good" She leaned in and gently kissed me, when she pulled away I pulled her closer and kissed her deeper.

"Say it again" She smiled at me, and ran her thumb over my lip as she held my face.

"I love you Ashley" I kissed her thumb, and laid back down.

"Do we have to get up, I'm very comfy"

"It's noon, and I have to get to the bar." I pouted, and she laughed.

"Don't give me that pout, I promise we can spend the day together tomorrow okay?"

"Okay" I reached for her hand, they were so soft and delicate.

"Spence, you sure you want this?"

"Yes" I smiled as she climbed into bed, and let me lay my head on her chest.

"I missed you Spence, you didn't have to leave you know"

"You told me you never wanted me to see me again" I rolled my eyes.

"Spencer you dropped off the face of the earth, I looked everywhere for you" She was running her fingers through my hair.

"I know, Sam told me"

"How was New York?" I looked up at her, she leaned down giving me another kiss.

"Boring, I didn't stay too long"

"Wait you were here?" she nodded.

"I was only in New York for a couple of days"

"Why didn't we see you then?"

"I made Sam swear she wouldn't tell anyone I was back"

"So when she was running the bar..."

"I was there, just in my office or at the cottage" I nodded.

"You didn't have to run away Spencer, we could have talked"

"We did, last night" I slap her arm.

"Smart ass, I meant we could have talked sooner"

"I needed time to think" I looked over at her.

"Are you done thinking?"

"Yes" I smiled and leaned up to kiss her, her arm wrapped around me pulling me on top of her. I guess we were going again.

* * *

 _ **Spencer**_

I was in my office trying to get payroll done, and do my order. It was hard when I had a hot girlfriend in my bed, well I think she was my girlfriend. We didn't really talk about it,we just made out and had a lot of sex. I knew I wanted to be with Ashley since I left for New York. I missed her, and all I wanted to do is call her and be next to her. Eventually I came back and broke down and told Sam everything I was feeling. I wanted to give Ashley her time, but it was hard. I was in my office when she was talking to Sam, and when she was dancing with that girl I wanted to push that girl away from Ashley. I did end up at Kyla's to talk to Ashley, but instead I decided to just leave there presents. When Ashley showed up at my house, I knew she wasn't leaving without me tell her how I felt. I needed her, and I was going to let her know.

"Well if it isn't the Bitch who runs?" I rolled my eyes, and looked up to Kyla.

"Hello Kyla, what brings you by?"

"Your dating my sister I hear" Well that answers that question. I leaned back in my chair with my hands in my lap.

"I am"

"Look Spencer..." I held up my hand to stop her.

"I know what your going to say Kyla, and I promise I won't hurt her. I promise to take care of her, and keep her as happy as I can"

"Well good. If you ever leave again, I'll hunt you down got it?" I smirked, like she was stronger then I was.

"Okay Kyla"

"Now I expect you to be at our place for dinner tomorrow, no buts you are coming" I nodded.

"Okay."

"Good, I'm glad we had this talk" She put her hands in her pockets and looked around.

"Kyla?"

"Yes?"

"Do you need something?"

"Can I stay here for a bit, I'm exhausted and I need a break from..." I stopped her, and nodded towards my couch in my office.

"Its all yours" She smiled, and walked over to lay on my couch.

I got up from my chair and walked out into the bar to grab my self a drink. I looked around and my staff was putting all the tables together. There is a birthday party happening tonight, and they are paying a lot of money to rent my place out. I answered a few questions, then went back into my office. Kyla was snoring away. I took out my phone taking a picture, black mail of course. Then I sent it to Ashley. I waited for her reply.

 _Buzz Buzz_

I looked down and she had sent me the same picture of Aiden on the couch. Then the other picture was her holding Dylan. I shook my head and dialed her number.

 _"I think they partied to hard last night"_ She said.

"I think so too, I'll let her sleep for a bit then give her a lift home."

 _"Didn't she drive there?"_

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I'll be carrying her to the car" Ashley laughed.

 _"Well aren't you a good best friend"_

"Its the lease I can do"

" _Well I better get this little guy down for a nap"_ I smiled, as I thought about Ashley with our kids.

 _"Spencer?"_

"Ya?"

 _"Were you think about our kids?"_ I smiled, of course she knew.

"Goodbye Ashley"

 _"Bye Spencer"_

* * *

 _R &R Please_


	22. Chapter 22

**22.**

 **Ashley**

"How is the new album coming?" I shrugged.

"I haven't really focused on it to be honest, I just need a break" Kyla nodded, and took a sip of her tea.

"Are you planning on moving back to New York?" I looked at my drink, then looked over at her. We both knew things were a lot different now since Spencer and I were dating.

"I don't know Ky, with everything going on I honestly don't know."

"Well have you talked to Spencer yet?"

"Talk to me about what?" I smiled as Spencer walked into the living room, giving me a kiss then sitting down beside me.

"About Ashley going back to New York" I gave my sister an evil look.

"Oh" is all Spencer said, and looked at her hands.

"Well on that note I'm going to go help Aiden in the kitchen"

After she left I got up from my spot, walking over to sit next to Spencer. I grabbed her hands that she was staring at, and kissed them. I looked into her eyes, and they looked so sad.

"Spencer I don't know what I'm doing yet. I honestly don't even know if I want to keep working on this new album"

"What why!"

"I just have been focused on us that Its been nice not having pressure of everything that comes with being an artist" She nodded.

"I get it, but you love music Ash. You should keep going, but its up to you."

"Thank you, and Kyla was asking if I was going to go back to New York. T hats where I usually live, but I want to stay here with you"

"Ashley if you want to go back home then that's what you should do, I don't want you to not be happy"

"You make me happy Spencer, and I want to stay. I just don't want to seem like I'm rushing this relationship to fast"

"I think we are already caught up and past rushing Ash. I love you and If you want to stay then stay. If you want to go back to New York then we will work it out" I smiled.

"Thank you"

"If you do stay, can you still make your album here?"

"I don't see why not."

"Okay, well I think dinner is ready" I leaned over giving Spencer a light kiss.

"I love you Spencer"

"I love you too Ash, and we will talk more after" I smiled holding Ashley hand as we walked into the kitchen to have dinner with everyone.

"Well Ladies dig in!" Aiden said

* * *

We were out side looking up at the stars, and Spencer was holding me in her arms. These moments I wish everyone saw. Spencer was a hard ass, but these moments she seemed so peaceful.

"Stop thinking Ash" I smiled.

"I'm thinking about you if that helps"

"Oh ya what about?"

"How your so heartless to everyone, but soft to me"

"You bring that out of me, I can't help be soft for you" I smiled as I felt her lips on my neck.

"Spencer I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, I'm sorry I broke your heart" She didn't say anything, she just held me tighter.

"Your parents were like parents to me, and I should have been there for you. I am so sorry I caused you so much pain that you felt like you had to stop trusting people. I'm sorry that I made you never want to feel love again. I am truly happy that I have your heart again, and I get to call you mine again" Silence filled the air, and I expected it to be. I didn't expect the wetness on my shoulder. I turned my head to find Spencer crying.

"Oh baby" I turned my body so I could hold her in my arms and let her cry. I kept rubbing her back, kissing her head.

"I miss them so much!"

"I know baby, I know"

 **Kyla**

I stood by the door, letting out my breathe as I felt Aiden wrap in arms around me from behind. I leaned back into him as we watch Spencer break down into Ashley's arms.

"Whats going on babe?" Aiden asked me, as he saw Spencer crying.

"Ashley broke through the last wall"

"Spencer Carlin has a heart" I said, as we turned to look at them one more time before we left them to be alone.

* * *

 **xoxoxox THE END xoxoxo**


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